Playing Nice

Sunday was a big day for me – a day of monumental achievement.

Something I posted on Twitter was retweeted by Heather Dubrow.


(Don’t tell Kyle, Carole or other Heather, but Heather Dubrow is my favorite housewife.)

I am an unapologetic fan of the Real Housewives franchise, even in spite of all the haters out there.

“Those shows are so fake.”

“The women are so nasty, all they ever do is yell at each other and/or stab each other in the back.”

Blah, blah, blah.

I don’t expect everyone to share my love for the ladies. Personally, I don’t understand the fascination with Extreme Couponing or Major League Baseball. But, with every breath in my body, I will defend your right to watch whatever you enjoy.

This is, after all, America – land of approximately a trillion different channels. Something for everyone.

The Housewives shows entertain me and I love them.

So here is what happened on Sunday:

The Real Housewives of Orange County wrapped up this season with part 2 of the reunion show.

For the uninitiated, these reunion shows give the cast an opportunity to rehash the season, reopen old wounds and occasionally to mend fences.

The show ended with a toast.

“Here’s to forgiving each other’s weaknesses and celebrating each other’s strengths.”


Wonderful sentiment, right? Something we all can aspire to.

So I tweeted this:


The first to retweet was none other than Ms. Dubrow. I was giddy with excitement.

Heather Dubrow retweeted

Heather Dubrow retweeted!

Then the nastiness started.

I watched the show again (purely for research purposes) and Two Cents is right. Andy did ask Vicki to make a toast but Vicki used the opportunity to direct more snarky comments at Tamara. The always elegant Heather stepped in to save the moment with a “support one another” message.

Many of the Twitter comments supported my feeling that Heather’s toast was lovely and appropriate.

But in an ironic twist, many felt the need to comment and point out all the things about Heather that they do not like.

Perhaps the commenters would even call these “weaknesses”.

But they sure were not willing to forgive.

Is it too much to ask that social media etiquette be based on courteous exchanges of opinions?

Rather than saying, “She is an awful, nasty, person who has terrible taste in shoes and constantly uses the wrong fork.” couldn’t we just say, “Eh, she’s not my favorite.”?

Trust me, I see the irony in my argument that we should remain rational while discussing shows for which the “best of” reel includes high decibel arguing, table flipping and the dramatic slamming of an artificial limb.

I get it.

And yes, it’s true that when one reaches some level of celebrity they open themselves up to public opinion. The trade off for living large on the small screen is that “fans” feel entitled to very strong opinions and entitled to share those opinions in a very public way on social media.

Of course, everyone has the right to their opinion. And most of us are guilty of sometimes expressing our opinions in not so nice ways.

But it’s like our mothers always taught us,

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

At least try.

I’m not saying that we should banish all disagreement. In addition to the right to watch whatever television shows we choose, as Americans we have the right to free speech.

But shouldn’t we use that right responsibly? Whether talking about characters in a television show or characters in a political debate, shouldn’t we at least attempt to play nice?

I present my toast – one to which I hope Heather Dubrow would raise her glass of champs:

“Here’s to a kinder, gentler exchange of opinions on social media and in all aspects of our lives.”

Except on the Real Housewives shows because those are so deliciously entertaining.

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Thanks for stopping by!


  1. If I didn’t like you so much, Miss Mo, I would be SO DARN JEALOUS!!! OMG – to be retweeted by one of the housewives – especially Miss Fancy Pants Debrow is beyond my wildest dreams. I don’t mind saying that I may have watched the reunion more than once. When are you coming back to Boston? We have sooooo much to catch up on!! Great post, btw, even tho I am green with envy!! Have a great weekend, dear friend.

    • Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for appreciating the enormity of my excitement! My fantasy is that Andy sees the tweet, loves my witty storytelling and invites me to bartend in the Clubhouse one night when Heather is a guest. I will accept his offer, of course, on one condition. I MUST be able to bring you with me. Deal?
      (And yes, coming to Boston. I’ll be in touch!)
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

      • You are now bringing up an entirely new subject – the Bartender in the Clubhouse. Who are they and why are they there? What did I miss?
        Back to the topic at hand, enjoy the RH series though NJ is not as enjoyable to me as in the past. And you Ms. Mo are out there in LaLa land hobnobbing (or soon will be) by the CA franchise! First a tweet, next a call, then a glass of champagne! Right down the slippery slope to fame! Enjoy your anonymity while it lasts!!!

        • Ahhhh, a girl can dream…
          The Clubhouse is what Andy Cohen calls the set of his Watch What Happens Live show on Bravo and the bartenders are minor celebrities who mix and pour cocktails for the two major celebrities who are Andy’s guests each night. I would, of course, serve wine!
          Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

          • Oh Mo, I know – and have seen – the Clubhouse/bartender. Question is really, why is this unknown even there? I just don’t get it BUT if it makes your Bucket List then just go for it. You do have your Heather in now.

  2. You are a famous tweeter! How exciting. Perhaps you can teach the rest of the tech world some kindness.
    Leslie Anne recently posted…Cozy Nooks for Great BooksMy Profile

  3. Wow – so cool that you were retweeted by a celeb!!!
    I love the Real Housewives!!!
    And, I’m with you – I don’t understand why people can’t be nice!!!
    Kim recently posted…The Hardest Worker I Know – a Feel Good Story!!My Profile

  4. Well this is just the coolest. I so get your excitement. I once went to a play and tweeted about how much I enjoyed it. Imagine my delight when the playwright and lead actor tweeted back! If you ever have a chance you must see this play – A Brimful of Asha. Only two actors – playwright and his mother. Latter is not an actor but I have to say is one now. She is brilliant. Long story short – He is telling the true story of how his parents insisted he have a mail order bride from India. Hilarious and witty. As you walk into the theatre both of them are handing out samosas that she made.
    Sorry to hijack your post – I did love it. Congrats on the retweet. May Andy make that offer!
    Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…Seasoned Advice For Middle School ParentsMy Profile

  5. That’s totally awesome that she retweeted you! And I will admit to being HEAVILY into the original Housewives for a few years but got caught up in other things so I stopped watching. But if there are artificial limbs being slammed around, I might need to get it another chance!
    Trish recently posted…Painted Mason Jar Makeup Brush HolderMy Profile

    • Never a dull moment with those gals because if there is a dull moment, they get fired and no one wants to lose their red carpet privileges! Or their direct line to the Bravo Clubhouse!
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  6. You are totally famous now, you know that right? You should probably just assume you are spending Thanksgiving with her. We have it on good authority that once a celebrity re-tweets you it is practically like joining their family. We are sorry that people try to be such buzzkills, though.-The Dose Girls
    thedoseofreality recently posted…Why This Blog Has Been A MessMy Profile

    • I will anxiously await my invitation to Thanksgiving with the Dubrows. I would also accept an invitation to the housewarming party when they finish construction of their new home next year. Also, a pumpkin spice latte at the Starbucks in Newport Beach. Anything, really.
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  7. I’m excited for you, Mo – even though I don’t watch the Housewives. I know it’s a thrill to be retweeted by a celebrity. Have you ever seen Jimmy Fallon’s bit where he has celebrities read mean tweets about themselves? It is hilarious, and they are such good sports about it. If everyone were nice, Jimmy would lose material!
    Dana recently posted…Happiness hangoverMy Profile

    • Jimmy Fallon is pretty much the most talented and hilarious person on earth. I have seen that tweet bit – I love that Jimmy gets celebrities to laugh at themselves and to do such wacky things!
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  8. A moment of fame, a moment of fame I am so excited for you. Shame the whiners jumped in and there and tried to spoil it. I agree Mo a kinder, gentler expression of opinions is needed across all social media, famous or not people are people and deserve respect.
    Karen Main recently posted…Why the world is waiting for you to flourishMy Profile

    • I guess there is a latent mean streak in most of us. Some folks just don’t try to keep it in check. We don’t all have to agree but, as you said, everyone deserves respect.
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  9. It is thrilling when we get retweeted by a celeb! I don’t understand why people feel free to be so ugly on social media. I love the Property Brothers, Jonathan posted a picture of him with his date to some event, he comment how nice she looked in her dress, and she did but she had that pouty face that models have in pictures. Women tore her to shreds, it blows my mind, why say anything at all!

  10. I’ve never watched it but am thrilled for you! I have my favorite shows and can only imagine the rush!
    Barbara recently posted…Imagine PeaceMy Profile

    • I’m not sure why it is such a rush to make a connection with someone you have never met (and will likely never meet!). Human nature, I guess. Anyway, it was a thrill!
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  11. Aw that is real cool! I heard that celebrities actually do read our tweets! So that is awesome!
    My favorite is the New Jersey one. I think many women are guilty of watching these series :-p
    Deanna recently posted…Wordless Wednesdays:Summer in the City.My Profile

    • The way I see it, the Housewives shows are just sitcoms/drama shows with a cast that are not actors – although some of the characters like my gal Heather ARE actresses. But on the Housewife shows they play the part of themselves! New Jersey has taken an interesting turn this season with new characters and the Theresa and Joe mess!
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  12. that is so awesome! i only fleetingly follow the real housewives, but still, i consider this a huge deal!
    catherine gacad recently posted…The Buck Stops Here: When Your Children Steal from YouMy Profile

  13. Wise words, Mo! It is sad how mean people get on social media, saying things they would likely never dream of saying in person the recipient’s face.

    And congrats on the retweet, how exciting 🙂
    Bev recently posted…How to harness your powers for good and plan a fundraiser from the ground upMy Profile

    • You’ve hit the nail on the head, Bev. It is the cowardice of the troll comments that is the most irritating. And the meanness – I guess I’d just like to live in a kinder and gentler world.
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  14. Love this, Mo, and I totally agree with you. If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself. I find some of the exchanges on social media just downright disturbing. We can all be more civil to one another, and the world would be a much nicer place.
    Michelle recently posted…No-Cook Summer Tomato Pasta Sauce {Quick and Easy Meals}My Profile

  15. You’re famous!

    I haven’t watched any of the Real Housewives shows regularly but I did recently get hooked on Ladies of London which I think is a spin off. So addicting!
    Kate recently posted…So, that’s why it is called a “challenge” walkMy Profile

    • And I’m so wrapped up in the Housewives that I have not been able to give The Ladies of London their full due. I’m clearly going to have to rectify that situation!
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  16. Ahh! You are best friends now!!
    I admit I didn’t know who she was until today, but I get that it’s big!
    The fact that they entertain you is enough. Honestly. I don’t watch any of the shows, but I do joke about starting my own “Real Housewives of the Pioneer Valley.”
    Tamara recently posted…A Completely Tearful and Not Completely Wordless Wednesday: Kindergarten.My Profile

    • And I would definitely tune in to your show, Tamara. Actually there is a Tamara on the Real Housewives of Orange County but she is someone who has raised troublemaking to an art form. I sense that you would be a kinder, gentler housewife…
      Mo Lux recently posted…Playing NiceMy Profile

  17. How cool that she retweeted your tweet. It’s too bad that nastiness had to come from it though. It’s amazing how people feel that they can say anything when they’re hiding behind a computer screen.
    Elizabeth (Rock-A-Bye Parents) recently posted…Giveaway Link-Up: September 13, 2014My Profile

  18. Kinder and more gentle would be awesome! I have a hard time with such nastiness so I avoid it whenever possible. I’m glad you have something you enjoy…we all need more of that.

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